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Be it Delhi-Mumbai or any other flight in our domestic circuit, i’m sure you all must have encountered funny and weird situations and people.

I’m listing few annoying things that people do in our domestic airline circuit and trust me, some of them are highly annoying.
1)Taking off your shoes.
We don’t need to smell your dirty socks, please keep your shoes on!

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2)Just letting everyone know that you’re coming by air not train!

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The loud people make sure they make that one final call and everyone listens to it, whether they want it or not!

3)The railway luggage people

Travel Briefcast
They have 2-3 bags checked in (paid for extra weight) and equally big bags as cabin baggage too! What are you carrying in these bags?

4)Passenger-with-a-Weak-Bladder
Remember that fat uncle who goes to washroom making your life difficult? It so happened with me that we were stuck badly and i had to move out to make way for that fat quarry.

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Thou shalt not listen to safety instructions!
I’ve seen flight attendants trying to shut up people for those five minutes when they brief everyone about safety instructions.

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The yoga girl, the praying guy! Well, people do that too covering the little space available there!

7)18-ways-you-re-driving-flight-attendants-insane

We have just taken off and “hey, i need water”. I will never understand why everyone needs everything at the same time.

8)Clicking pictures of flight attendants.

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I don’t know why, but you see, they just do it!

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A crying baby on your early morning flight and you may need a disprin.

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At-Home-9

How about seats? You have minimal boot space and add to it if someone reclines theirs on to your lap!

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Ten Software Testing Myths …

I was reading Lidor Wyssocky’s blog and his post on 10 software development myths. I thought, let me re-do this list for software testing – replace words “development” by “testing” and other relevant words. Here is the list … Bingo … we, the software testers *nearly* share the list of myths (frustrations?) …

It is interesting to note that last 5 myths go unchanged … development and testing share the honor. I even doubt that Lidor might be a software tester or a developer having a strong tester like mind.

10. The tester’s task is easy: he should merely write and execute the test cases by translating requirements to test cases. Additionally log some bugs.

9. Every test case is documented. Otherwise, how on earth can we expect to do regression testing and in general repeat testing?

8. Test case Reviews are a one-time effort. All you have to do is take an artifact after it is completed, and verify that it is correct. Test case reviews, for example, should merely verify that *all* requirements are covered by test cases and EVERY REQUIREMENT is COVERED by AT LEAST ONE TEST CASE.

7. Software Testing should be like manufacturing. Each of us is a robot in an assembly line. Given a certain input, we should be able to come up automatically with the right output. Execute a set of test cases (should execute 100 test cases a day) and report pass/fail status.

6. Software Testing has nothing to do with creativity. Creativity – what? The only part which requires creativity is designing your assembly line of test case design. From that point on, everyone should just be obedient.

5. Creativity and discipline cannot live together. Creativity equals chaos. [This one remains unchanged from original list of software development myths]

4. The answer to every challenge we face in the software industry lies in defining a process. That process defines the assembly line without which we are doomed to work in a constant state of chaos. [BIG ONE …This one remains unchanged from original list of software development myths]

3. Processes have nothing to do with people. You are merely defining inputs and outputs for different parts of your machine.

2. If a process is not 100% repeatable, it is not a process. Letting people adapt the process and do “whatever they want” is just going back to chaos again.

1. Quality is all about serving the customer. Whatever the customer wants, he should get. Things that don’t concern your customer should not be of interest to you.

Like Lidor, can say “As I said, I guess we still have a long way to go…” ?

via Thinking Tester: Ten Software Testing Myths ….

Posted: November 9, 2011 in Uncategorized

Independence Day! Really?!!

Posted: August 14, 2011 in Uncategorized

And as the Nation awaits its 65th Independence day Parade there is this someone far away in village ‘X’ who is sleeping like all ordinary days after spending a hectic day covering distance for his pension that government owes him.
There is this someone waiting for sun to set out as he has to get his graduate and innocent son out of police lockup.
There is this someone who passed exams with flying colors and knows how his dad is going to spend some money for his admission to college.
There is this someone who is still waiting in the streets of Delhi for justice from the Tricolor flagged Nation.
There is someone who is sleeping with his 2yr old son and holds him tight because he is not certain about his comeback from work later in day when sun sets out.
There are people who are holding on to search lights and guns on the worst possible geography of India.
There is someone who has sore throat because he spent his whole day crying for coins and cleaning cars at the red lights.
There is someone searching dustbins of the city to find something to eat.
Let the sun rise, let the colors of freedom reach out to the chosen few, this is what happens right?
Stage is set, preparations are done, tanks to be exhibited are ready, drills have been done, schools have been preparing since last one month for that one song and a dance that makes Nation happy. And as you will travel towards the parade grounds in morning, do care to see the reality on roads, care to buy a newspaper from that half clad dirty dhoti boy and check out the crime section, fine you may ignore it and as your cell phone will ring to alert you about the last date of paying your tax, do not try to be smart a**.

You may not get the VIP row seat, you may not even be able to see the prime minister or the president or you may just witness it all from doordarshan and feel pride. Since it is a National Holiday you may either set out for a picnic, or post your opinions and force them on the likeminded lot, but in all this you are missing something, don’t you think?

Where is the Independence part of this day?? Get me wrong and you enter into history telling me why it is called so and why we need to celebrate it with some more energy. Look celebrating a thing is not necessarily ‘Living a thing’, the question is, ‘Are we independent or just the regimes have changed?’
Ponder upon, scratch your head and 9 out of ten come up with, “Corrupt System”, “Bullshit, paralyzed system”, “Who Cares”, “Remove the ministers”, “Shuffle the cabinet”, ” Do what that saffron baba says” and the likes. The truth is that if you happen to be one of these guys, you are not an Indian, you may ve born in india and so are the other millions, you are not an indian because you don’t care, you don’t know the meaning of independence, you never tried moving out of your house, you are like someone who got married and stayed at his wife’s place forever. Your relation to this nation is that of in laws not the first blood.
2:58AM:
I’m not attending any parade ceremony, neither am i going to wave a flag on my house or my profile. I may have appeared to be a cold heartless and senseless chap but the truth is that you have to THINK AND ACT. Now when I say this, I do not want you to fund a charity mission, give ten ruppees to every beggar, or stage an anti government demonstration, all I want you to do is to be your own government first.

By saying this, all you have to do is to think and be the best possible citizen, one who is capable of inspiring 2more and exponentially so. Light a candle and you can light million others with it, isn’t it?

Happy Independence Day!!

GHOSTS OF PAST: A SHORT STORY!!!

“I don’t know for what I am writing this letter as it has no significance now because we are apart, I know it will be very difficult for you…………

…………………….

Take good care of yourself, I will always pray for you, I love you!!”

ARVIND SHRIVASTAV, a group leader in HCL, read these lines as he found a letter in his notebook he had carelessly left in college canteen!!

Fumbling through my notebook I threw it on my bed and read it again, no tears, stunned silence!! I could clearly hear fan rotating above my head and all the midday noise appeared to have disappeared, there was no song in my head, no emotion in my heart, I was perfectly numb!! I love those moments and wish I could re-live a fraction of that time piece once again!!

What next?? Depression was the easily available remedy those days costing little less than rat poison and tasting better than that as well, I took it I guess more than the recommended dosage of a week and extended it to three bloody months!! No offense to the poison making companies barring cyanide ones of course, ”YOU BETTER CHANGE YOUR MANUFACTURING PLANTS TO DARK AND DEATH MUSIC BANDS”.

The immediate thing I was able to do after going through the beautifully composed  letter was to ease up my stiffening arms and legs, somewhere I feared mom and wanted to be physically good because I had heard about people freezing in their positions at times and I never wanted to be a frozen piece, so I let go pretending nothing happened and got my share of meals out in plate, the spoon just did not move, I kept it aside and started out like I would do when I was 1st grader, and now my food canal did not cooperate, to be really honest my stomach wanted all of that yummy meal but sorry buddy inlet is in a kind of emotional problem caused by Mr. administrator sitting right in my head.

4-YEARS BACK

“I will never see your face again, and if I ever happen to see you again, I will kill myself then and there”

She shouted at me in my class in front of almost 75 students, rather 75 engineers who all opined me and SIMONE REYL to be really close friends. Ah we all know what close friends means in an engineering college, don’t we?

“You were my worst nightmare SIMONE”, I shouted back at her as she was leaving the class not expecting to hear anything from me.

‘WORST NIGHTMARE’… it is absurd no?  The very word nightmare is perfectly negatively superlative no?

I noted a good thing about human behavior that day, “we mostly use superlatives when we fight”.

SIMONE left!!

She was absent next day, and for next two days as well. Mr.ARVIND, that is the way people address me here, starts to feel uneasy for it was just a fight and she would call me after every fight and we would discuss which words were too much, where she should have shut up and where my blowing up was totally unnecessary, and I don’t know why but she always wanted to know how all my friends felt about it, especially the female folk, for she could make a rough sketch of everyone’s character in her mind and burst it out when needed, so I decided to see her at her place on day four of her absence after the college!!

“ARVIND, ARVIND SRIVASTAV from her college… her class… her best friend, I kept on adding to my so called gate entering resume”

Gatekeeper was not that impressed with my CV and replied back,

“sorry we can’t allow you in, now disappear”, as he said this, he followed it up with a blow on the gate with his stick to scare me and believe me unlike all bollywood stuff I was scared and ran for the fear of the dog that they had left unchained, ready to go at anything, boy’s meat for lunch was a treat in flesh dearth villa of SIMONE.

“This can’t happen with you, you will have to think of something bright”

All these ideas and thoughts kick our mind when AAA’S get activated and believe me if someone asks me to appear in the toughest exam of india, I would crack it, given that my SUPER state lasts for more than five minutes.

I tried every idea in my head ranging from climbing 7ft wall to daring it out with those keepers of the princess’s gates, but as they say where there is will there is a way and there was no will there, I just wanted to know reason of her absence and missed her a bit. I turned back and walked up to gatekeeper and

“chaacha ji, is SIMONE home?”

Relationships are valued more than life here in india and this is what made me use ‘chacha’, I never meant it for him that day but today I do. The very use of the word melted the lock on the door and I was in…

I could have made you my legal heir of property uncle if you did it the first time I was here.

“Hurry up son, saab will be here soon”, he answered me assuring me that son-chacha relation is really acknowledged by him as well.

SIMONE SIMONE SIMONE, SIM… I called her name as I entered the palace of princess!!

I sometimes prided myself for being the sole owner of this property if uncle REYL  agrees to give her daughter’s hand in mine!!

“ARVIND beta, ah” the voice was no doubt feminine, but it was not princess but queen herself!!

I quickly got up from deep sofa set and bowed to touch her feet, and recovered my posture and asked my very first question:

Still looking somewhere upstairs for SIMONE to follow I asked aunty,

“Where is SIMONE?”

“She had to go, sit down I will tell you everything” she sat down with a fashion magazine in her hand.

I sat down not because she told me to but it was kind of involuntary, kind of fall, kind of ahhh state.

And before I could open my lips to ask when’s, where’s and how’s, aunty started.

“Well beta since you know her grades were dropping here with every semester and besides engineering was never her passion, RYLE just forced it on her( why do women always complain about their husbands in their absence), so now to make things easy for her we”

She stopped as she got up to open the door and left me wandering if SIMONE had committed a suicide or something, how can all the ceremonies end in just three days? This logic kept me pre-occupied till she came back to conversation.

“Yes aunty and what did you do”, I asked as if really running out of time, actually I was too eager to know and just ended up messing things up.

“So RYLE sent her to fashion school, to learn fashion designing in IIFT, all her friends are there and besides the hostels are really comfortable, they are even better than this villa……..bla bla….”.

I could not hear anything after it, I mean I did not pay attention to anything she said after this!!

“She must have told you atleast, wait here I will get coffee for you” she smiled and walked towards kitchen slowly expecting to hear my answer faster than her footsteps.

“Yeah!!” I responded quickly.

IIFT what the bloody hell, new friends, dropping grades!! I was too confused and wanted to do all the self talking in my own room, where nothing makes fun of me and understands me like no one else, I left without coffee and without any further torture.

As I walked outside in the hot baking sun I thought about every word she spoke to me in recent days to know if she ever hinted on what was coming and yes, “I will never see your face” came in my mind as it was the last fight we had together, come on she did not mean it, she said so in her every fight, all the moments spent with her were going in my head and believe me for the first time in my four years of engineering I was thinking about only one thing, there was nothing else going in my head!! I wish I could have done the same on my sessionals and semester examination nights.

All the shopping trips, marriage parties we attended together, college festivals we were part of, lectures we had bunked together, fights we had and fun we had and time that was, it was all in the form of a cloud in front of my eyes just moving away. I had walked good 3kms and was fully drenched in my own sweat and tears, I don’t know I dropped any or that was just sweat but I was really heavy, I mean she could have atleast told me to accompany her to the railway station!!

The night was tough to live, there was no sleep, obviously I loved her, I never said it neither did she, I wanted to talk to her about it in some months after getting in this damned computer company. I noted another important human behavioral activity, “men do cry”!!

I lived through the night somehow checking on my cellphone more than 5 times in every ten minutes, I know the frequency is low as compared to the present day people but that was it, I was married to engineering and after all that had happened in day I had the love and care of a SEMINAR REPORT. Poor paper sheets, most of them got spoiled by tears rather than the wrong bits and bytes!!!

***3 MONTHS LATER***

No phone calls, no mention of her name in college, even teachers did not mention her roll no now, it was more than death of hers for me!!!

Human behavior tells us to move on but there is a bigger thing to it that actually happens, we do not move, I mean it is all the same we never learn, if we did we did we would change for better, it is battle within!!!

There was no love story that had just ended in fact she moved out when it looked like it will be a relationship!

I wondered at the amazing features of our relationship all these months and would scream out at night,

“shut up!! We had a relationship going in better than any fucking hyped pairs in college”

There was everything in our relationship,unconditional love, trust, sharing, no complaints and I never heard any question from her side, neither did I question her although I wanted to, at many times, I mean there was everything just not SIMONE!!!

I finished up working on my final year project report and decided to meet up uncle RYLE next day and yeah I was in the final year and I wanted her to know that I will be coming for you soon.

Another important feature of human behavior, “we can cover up almost five times more than what we do ordinarily when we are depressed or in a semi depressed state, just need to have good friends and awesome depressing music”

I was surprised to see just chachu at SIMONE’S gate where I could see almost an army of guards when she was there, ha ha, she was the only precious thing there and now she was not there so were the guards.

Chachu valued our relationship and let me in, I don’t know about the confidence I had when was walking up to the marbelled hall where uncle was sitting going thru the newspaper.

“Come on in beta, just have a seat” uncle was sounding really good after she had left.

I adjusted myself to fit in a deep chair and stayed upright to show respect.

“How are your studies going?” he asked.

“great sir”, I don’t know why I tend to use sir when I am nervous but I guess it helps sometimes.

“uncle where is SIMONE  exactly, I mean she did not contact anyone in college, neither she called me after that?” I quickly asked before uncle would engulf me with my project related questions. I mean we bloody engineers remain same, it was almost 2 decades of his luxorious life and he still talked about his projects, I would spit on engineering if not for the holy bond and commitment I made to it when I learnt basics in 1st semester.

“well she is out on an exchange program and she is in Austria in some welfare delmonte college, I am surprised she did not call you, I was out when she took this decision to leave engineering in 4th year, your aunt told me she had even thrown a party here only where you are sitting and she was telling everyone including your principal attended it”. He turned to sham kaka and told him to get the laptop and drink for me, sham kaka was fastest servant I had seen,in five min I saw my college friends and non friends and teachers and almost everyone in the pics, BUT NOT ME.

“Oh! Me, I was out of town sir, I missed the mega event”, I replied with a smile…)

 

 

Time has an old problem with everyone and if you are going through a sad phase, it will hurt you more, the clock ticked slowly. I started to live, rather started to fake away life!!!!!!!

There is this amazing thing that will give you a cloak to wear, a cloak you can put when you go out with the rise of sun and wear it down at twilight to burst your heads off with depression and work. WORK WORK WORK there was nothing on my mind and I was not innovating not learning not even engineering, I was just keeping myself busy. I travelled to almost all of northern india with just a bag and some money as company. I was learning, I was getting friends with people who were new, who were different and who will never ever be able to touch the strings which play bad music of my life, rather the most beautiful music of my life!! The best thing about humans is that they can see pain in others and so did some of my friends and helped me overcome them, fight with them, although I always faked my pain story to one and all. I learned to live with this new identity of mine.

The easiest thing to do is to act, I learnt to act and believe me acting for your own self is really tough, you always have to think how a happy ARVIND  would  do it. I mastered the art, the art of lying, the art of faking, I did for happiness, not my own but for my small clan, my friends and people who believed they love me.

She did not deserve all that I wasted for her, I would think like this sometimes and then get busy in my hectic busy and fake world.

Hey I did not even notice it, I finished my engineering in all these talks and fake living  and fortunately got job in a reputed company.

Ha ha hectic life schedule hardly gave me any time to think beyond bits and bytes, but there are somethings that never change, tsunami occurred and I do not find any wave standing tall as testimony to it, earthquakes rocked us, but I feel no inch of ground trembling now, world wars are gone and I find no bullets no smoke in air, this doesn’t mean things have changed, I mean would you feel the ‘change’ if you were in the middle of any of this!!! Something’s are never meant to change for some people, and the ghosts of past always haunt us no matter how far we run away, how deep we burry ourselves with fake happiness or awesome depression, these ghosts will find their way up to your room and will shake you up once again!!!!

******PRESENT DAY*******

“INDIA has the largest postal network system”, postman chachu told me as he delivered a letter this afternoon when I was going through some network review of my company in my villa. The letter looked quite different from what I was used to get usually from my company or clients. I was excited but there was no person in my mind, I thought it to be a letter from my grandfather who believed telephone was biggest curse that satan gave to mankind. I opened the letter and started reading it…..

 

 

“I don’t know for what I am writing this letter as it has no significance now because we are apart since last 2yrs, I know it will be very difficult for you to even recollect who I am, you used to call me SIM  and you are my ARVI. We were the best friends in college, we were the happiest couple in and out of campus, yes  ARVI we were a couple, I never thought I needed to go through that formal, down on knees “I LOVE YOU” way and neither did you. I am working in film industry, that was my dream you know it no?

How is your love with engineering going? I tried to access you from every possible source but you seemed to have narrowed down your life to yourself only hmm, so here I am addressing the man himself. I hope everything is really fine your side, well I know I owe you many explanations, many answers and many queries and many fights, long talks and everything, and you know what shoe shopping here in Mumbai is just terrible, they just don’t allow any bargaining, and chaat wala’s they are so ill mannered, and theatres are really clean and there is no torchman .:).

I don’t know you will get this letter or not and like you I am not a great fan of writing and reading things written by other people, but here I am writing and you reading on the other end, you are there no?……………….

 

A tear rolled down my eyes and I came in to my room to finish it up…

 

 

I can still see you carrying those books and flirting with me in every possible way and ARVI I missed your one liners, they were superb, I remember all of them, and that one about the holding the chat thread was the best one, Mumbai guys are really not good at flirting, and hey ARVI, I did good for a change, I finished up with 7 point GPA.

I OWE YOU MORE THAN SORRY I KNOW AND YOU WONT FORGIVE ME I KNOW IT, WELL YOU WILL HAVE TO FORGIVE ME THIS TIME ATLEAST ARVI, BECAUSE THIS IS MY LAST MESSAGE TO YOU AND TO ALL.

My dad fixed my marriage with RYAN, you remember, the one who used to top the class, we both have a history of recorded fights with this fellow no?  Look ARVI  not all love stories have I love you in them and not all end up with you and me on one side!!  I know you were a brave boy and you should have moved on in life, hey how about RIENA JAISWAL, she proposed to you no?

Look  ARVI  I know I have disturbed your life like anything and I don’t seek forgiveness, I just want you to live your LIFE.

PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ANY MENTION ABOUT THIS LETTER AND DO NOT ATTEND MY LAST CEREMONIES!!!

I WILL WAIT FOR YOU IN HEAVEN AND I WANT TO WAIT A THOUSAND YEARS!!!

DON’T CRY ARVI!!

I LOVE YOU.

YOURS TILL ETERNITY

SIMONE RYLE

 

THIS IS A SMALL CHAPTER OF MY UPCOMING BOOK!!!

FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS YOUR VIEWS

Hello world!

Posted: October 14, 2010 in Uncategorized

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